Grandpa, please wait for me to come back.

I want you to be happier. 

The song lyrics keep lingering on my head. I listened to this song last Friday night. When Bastille sang: “Lately, I have been thinking, I want you to be happier“, the very first sentence and I could not hold back my tears.

The truth is I love my parents, my brother, my little family so much. The truth is I miss my grandparents so much. The truth is I want to talk to my grandfather again because I know I could never have the chance to see him again the next minute. The truth is I forgave him. The truth is I want my time back when I was a little child, 5 years old, and you were holding me in your arms, and I would forget everything, every single fight but you, your stories and I would do anything to take back those 10 years of hatred and tears. Grandpa, I miss you so much and I wish I could see your smile and hear your voice. I wish I could tell you that I don’t hate you even when you made my mom sad and cry.

I know he is going to die soon. My Grandpa is going to leave me. And I haven’t told him that I am sorry, that now I want to forget and forgive, that I behaved like a spoiled, self-righteous child.

The truth is I was running away like a coward when I knew I could not handle my emotions.

And leave everyone behind.

And I wish I have the courage to tell my father and my mother that I wish they could be happier. I love them so much.

Dad, I am growing up, and I will be happier every single minute. I will love myself more and more, and I will treasure every opportunity. Dad, I argue with you all the time when I felt like I was right and you were wrong, but never ever have I wanted to make you sad and disappointed.

Mom, I slammed the door a thousand times, but never in my life have I meant to break your heart.

Grandpa, can you wait for me come back

and be hugged by you?

-Simply Complex-

-“Hey! Hold it tight. I am afraid that it is going to pour out.”

-“You are keeping the bottle, I am carrying the funnel. There is nothing to worry, sis!”

And I laughed. This is so simple and this simple thing made me laugh for the first time tonight. And this simple thing belongs to my little brother.

Sometimes I don’t know how he does it, finding the simple thing, making it beautiful. I can think very deep, he is able to see wide. And when I told him that I had never seen anyone with so much unexpected giving-joy, he told me that he was an angel of giving-happiness, unhesitantly. Right away.

September 9th.

Our Family had breakfast in a nearby West Lake restaurant. Dad was determined to take me to one of his favourite teahouses to have a sip of fresh Lotus tea. This was an amazing experience on a whimsically tenebrous Sunday morning.

 

My brother finds things in their inexplicably subtle simplicity.

 

And that’s how he is our Angel

of

Giving Joy.

A schlock of Caricature thing.

Honestly, sometimes I do irrationally ridiculous things

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Mawkish Raconteur.

but none ever questioned that

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Exemption

’cause they think I am a sincere little girl

with a small spunky moment of time

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Obliteration

Pharisaic, self-righteous all the time, people are

obsessed with their sickening sanctimonious smile

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Silent Poltergeist

deads then reincarnated

in lust with rotten souls.

A pool concierge

dreams of chimerical girls

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Omniscience

But I

completely honest

all the time.

 

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Green everywhere

 

-T   I   R   E   D   O   F   T   H   I   S-

 

 

 

 

I thought it would rain.

I woke up early this morning. When I appeared on the fourth floor to hang up the clothes, I saw something moving towards me. Then suddenly, it got weirder as I could sense in the atmosphere an acrid smell blown from the Residential Apartment and for a moment, I thought I was insane because I saw the sky became darker and darker as if time was turning back. I then found myself imagining a U.F.O fly to and take me away. Luckily, my imagination didn’t have a slight chance to go beyond the Acceptance Border. Instead, when the glorious moment disappeared, I was able to do nothing but to accept the harsh reality that there would be no Extra-terrestrial being comes to rescue me from this tedious life. 

I might not deserve a prince, but God, if you are listening to me, just send me an Alien.

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Moody Five

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Dot Dot

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He is back